Some experiences just cannot be described in words, sounds or photography alone, so we make art to express the sense experience, emotion, substance, or 'vibe' of an event or situation.
This piece is what my experience 'felt' like at the recent fit for service fellowship summit in sedona, Arizona.
The experience was absolute Awe, surrounded by unconditional love, support, and wonder, staring deep into the beauty, vulnerability, and terror of being a human being.
These summits are not designed to be fun ( tho we have an enormous amount of fun ;)
they are designed to BREAK US DOWN. We are all 'cracked open' in front of each other, traumas exposed, and are guided to hold one another up with love, respect and confidentiality in this painful process.
Since joining Fit For Service in 2019, my life has transformed in unimaginable ways in just a few short years. But transformation is never easy. like the caterpillar, one becomes 'liquified', a disintegration of the old self( yes, this is as terrifying as it sounds!) in order to reconstruct itself into the butterfly.
And so, I owe much of my current life, success, and relationships to this community, without which it's truly unfathomable to imagine life without. <3
( cover art for Burning Man 2019 )
'We are all ever-changing, evolving; able to engage in infinite possibilities and growth.
The demons within give birth to new angels, and sometimes vice versa.
Change is uncomfortable. Painful. Even at times excruciating. Just as the caterpillar becomes shrouded in darkness, isolated, liquefied, it emerges anew into a beautiful, flying creature. And so, we also can emerge from the darkness - into new creatures ready to take flight.'
~ Alex Ruiz
'Heart of Gaia'
‘Will you still love me even when I am sick?’
‘Will you love me when death consumes me?’
‘Will you take care of me when fear and disease ravages me?’
‘Am I still beautiful to you when I’m falling apart?’
‘Will you still love me when darkness falls over me?’
‘Will you love all of me…the good and the bad?’
“We do not "come into" this world; we come out of it, as leaves from a tree. As the ocean "waves," the universe "peoples." Every individual is an expression of the whole realm of nature, a unique action of the total universe.”~ Alan Watts
The more I explore and engage in the 'mind-manifesting medicines' ( aka psychedelics), the more I realize the infinite beauty, wonder, and terror of our shared reality...and ultimately, realizing my need to find stillness and surrender in the face of that....
Looking at Death as something so much more than and 'ending'...and more like a BEGINNING....
The world is always burning, always falling down, always hurting.
But it's always regrowing, always rebuilding, always healing.
We can choose how to perceive things. This perception will directly affect our emotions. Control your emotions, and you CONTROL YOUR LIFE.
This takes a bit of practice, but the other options are PANIC, INDIFFERENCE, and ALL CONSUMING FEAR...so what would you rather experience?
This is a time of massive fear and uncertainty, certainly the biggest test we as a generation are facing.
Take this time to look inward more than ever....get adequate rest, reflect, and learn how to turn fear into positive growth.....mindful breathing, eating well, hydrating, exercising, meditating, learning a new skill, practicing compassion, connecting with yourself and others....
...and WAY less indulgence in the news;)
'Shores of Consciousness'
The themes expressed here are about release, compassion, surrender, life, death, magick, dreams, transcendence, consciousness and obviously, surreality:)
this is also dedicated to all lives lost in the turbulence of 2020 (so far), and that their spirits have found peace...
Title inspired by a passage in the novel, 'Kafka on the shore.'
Wakȟáŋ Tȟáŋka (pronounced 'wakan tanka' ) can be interpreted as the power or the sacredness that resides in everything, resembling some animistic and pantheistic beliefs. This term describes every creature and object as wakȟáŋ ("holy") or having aspects that are wakȟáŋ.The element Tanka or Tȟáŋka corresponds to "Great" or "large”.
the feminine version;)
Thank you for visiting my website. Many blessings for you in 2021.